top of page


Updated: Apr 5, 2023

Last week, in part one of this series, we discussed some of the Cost Of Dying’s most notable findings and explained how proactive estate planning can dramatically reduce many of the financial, logistical, and emotional challenges for your loved ones following your death. Here in part two, we wrap up our summary of the report and outline more of the ways proactive planning can relieve the burden of your death for your family.


On average, the report found that families spent 420 hours over 13 months completing all the tasks needed to settle a loved one’s estate after death. However, the time commitment shot up to 20 months for estates which required the court process of probate. Additionally, most respondents underestimated how long these tasks would take: 54% said it took longer than they expected, while 31% said it took much longer.

To give you some idea of what consumed families’ time most during these months, the report breaks down the responsibilities that respondents reported taking the longest as follows:

Most Time-Consuming Tasks

  1. The funeral: 55%

  2. Financial matters: 47%

  3. The will and probate: 45%

  4. Paying bills, debts, and taxes: 41%

  5. Dealing with the house or other property: 25%

  6. Finding service providers: 23%

Reducing The Time Burden For Your Family

With proper estate planning, you dramatically reduce the time your surviving loved ones will have to spend on many of these tasks. For example, by preplanning and prepaying your own funeral, you can greatly reduce what most families reported as the most time-consuming task. For other tasks, such as dealing with probate and paying off estates with debt, you can use estate planning to totally eliminate the need for your family to deal with these issues. As we noted last week, you can save your family both the time and expense of probate by creating a revocable living trust. One other unnecessary task we see families spending a lot of time on is simply locating all of a loved one’s assets when they die.

This happens when you become incapacitated or die, and your family is unable to find—or simply overlook—all of your wealth and property. And this occurs because most people fail to properly inventory their assets or keep that inventory regularly updated throughout their lifetime. Indeed, this is why there are currently more than $58 billion of lost and unclaimed assets held by state and federal agencies in the U.S.

Keeping an updated inventory of all of your assets is so important, that we offer this service to every one of our clients. Moreover, when you work with us, we will not only help you create a comprehensive asset inventory, we have systems in place to make sure your inventory stays consistently updated throughout your lifetime. 

We have even created a unique (and totally FREE) tool called a Personal Resource Map to help you get the inventory process started right now on your own, without the need for a lawyer. Once you have done that, schedule a meeting with us to incorporate your inventory with your other estate planning strategies. 


The seemingly endless number of tasks and responsibilities grieving families must deal with can be both confusing and stressful. And since most of us have never handled such processes before, you face a surreal learning curve that only adds to your emotional burden. To this end, more than 30% of respondents said they simply did not know what to do during the period immediately following a loved one’s death, and for those under age 45, that number rose to 43%. Not surprisingly, estates with debt typically caused more stress to those who had to manage them, and lower-income families were considerably more likely than those with higher incomes to report feeling lost during the process.

Such stress can even result in debilitating emotional and physical symptoms. As evidence of this fact, more than 57% of respondents reported suffering at least one clinical symptom of stress, while the average person suffered three or more. The most common symptoms induced by grief-related stress include the following:

Clinical Symptoms Experienced

  1. Stress headaches: 30%

  2. Stress-related fatigue: 42%

  3. Panic attacks: 17.5%

  4. Memory impairment: 16%

A Lack Of Communication Compounds Stress

Our society is so separated from the dying and grieving process that just talking about it is often considered taboo. Sadly, this only makes things that much more difficult when we finally face death’s inevitable reality.

“Bereavement is emotionally and physically taxing,” writes BJ Miller, MD, Empathy’s Compassion Advisor, in the report’s section on dying’s mental cost. “It is hard on your body, it is hard on your mind, it is hard on your life. By not talking about it openly, we have made it much harder than it needs to be.”

One positive part of this situation is that when those enduring losses are properly educated and informed about what to expect and how to best deal with these responsibilities, things do get easier for them.

“The good news is that when we give them the guidance they need when we fill that knowledge gap, the bereaved tend to feel a lot better,” says Miller.

Do not Leave Your Family In The Dark

One easy way you can make dealing with your own eventual death far easier for your loved ones is by working with us. We will support you to have intimate discussions about planning for death and incapacity with your family. When done right, such proactive communication and planning can put your life and relationships into a much clearer focus and offer you peace of mind, knowing that the people you love most will be protected and provided for no matter what happens to you.

Furthermore, we take the time to get to know your family members and include them in the planning process. In this way, everyone affected by your plan is well-aware of what your latest planning strategies are and why you made the choices you did. They will also know exactly what they need to do if something happens to them. By getting to know your family over time, when something does happen, we will be there for the people you love, with an underlying relationship and trust already established.

A New Kind Of Estate Planning

As the pandemic has made abundantly clear, death is unavoidable—and can strike at any time. However, you can make your eventual death far easier for the people you love by creating a proper estate plan. Facing life’s greatest fear head-on and planning for it will allow you to enjoy your current life even more. In fact, our clients often report a huge sense of relief after meeting with us and frequently say they wish they would have created their Life & Legacy Plan sooner.

By working with us you will discover that the estate planning process is not something morbid or depressing. When done right, estate planning is about far more than just planning for your death and passing on your “estate” and assets to your loved ones—it is about planning for a life you love and a legacy worth leaving by the choices you make today. This is why we call our services Life & Legacy Planning.

If you have been avoiding preparing for death, you could be missing out on an incredible opportunity for yourself, leaving behind a potential nightmare for your family. If you are ready to start truly living your life and make things as easy as possible for your family, meet with us to properly plan for the inevitability of death in service to more life. Contact us today for an appointment.

This article is a service of Reflections Life Planning LLC. We do not just draft documents; we ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. That is why we offer a Family Wealth Planning Session™, during which you will get more financially organized than you have ever been before and make all the best choices for the people you love. You can begin by calling our office today to schedule a Family Wealth Planning Session and mention this article to find out how to get this $750 session at no charge.

2 views0 comments


bottom of page